"Ah, it's so good to be home! ...Or, at least, closest thing to home." Izumi sighed as thought about that statement. "Okay, okay... It's good to unpack the suitc--" As she fired up her phone, she saw the blinking icon with a number on it: 56 new message. "That can't be right...all these messages?.... The HQ is still standing though, so it's not that...." She sat down and started reading through the messages one by one.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): One day down, nothing to report.
Sun 15 Jul 2012 11:59 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Beaubelle says she got sent to an asylum. 24 C in New England. How is it where you are?
Mon 16 Jul 2012 09:23 AM

"Oh, Thanasi worries about Belle.... It could be fun to let him think she's a bit of a whacko, but if it turns bad, I'll have to set the records straight. I mean, the actual records. ...How is it where we are? Oh well, I guess we can chat about Baton Rouge and Scotland next time we meet, If we're not overrun by zombies, mummies, or other metaphysical psychos..."

Izumi plugged the phone in the printer, printed out a hard copy, and resumed reading.

Alisha (M 696-969-***): As soon as you return I should talk to you - Discipline and Advancement needs some improvements - Working on it but need help from other members, I know someone already but she's studying in New England
Tue 17 Jul 2012 11:31AM

"I wonder what Alisha wants to discuss... I'll see. As long as said improvements don't involve leather whips and cuffs..."

Grey (RESTRICTED): Umm you did ask me to keep an eye on Kotts familiar and your pet Ak'ab right?
Tue 17 Jul 2012 7:57 PM

Grey (RESTRICTED): You did feed the Ak'ab before you left? right? Call me ASAP
Tue 17 Jul 2012 7:58 PM

As she flipped to Grey's messages, she gasped. "...OH CRAP!" Izumi slapped her forehead and cringed, then sighed deeply. "...Drat. House training a new Ak'ab pet will take too long and cause too much damage. I guess I'll settle for something less cumbersome...." She sighed again and deleted the message, not wanting to remember how she lost her hard house-trained pet.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Wes--Torvus--has gone catatonic and is babbling about never having children. Not in Rapier, so thought it might amuse.
Tue 17 Jul 2012 10:23 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Wes is stuck in hell now. I have my suspicions why. Temperature in Translyvania is 6 C, but feels like 4 C. How are things with you?
Tue 17 Jul 2012 12:31 PM

Two more texts from Thanasi about Wes. "Catatonic? It's hardly funny if we have to apply EC on him.... And stuck in hell?" Izumi laughed softly. She remembered the sight, even if the grey skin tone was a bit unsettling, the gestalt of the creature was quite pleasing to the eye. "I'm not printing out this compromising one..." Grinning, she erased the message and moved to the next.

Alisha (M +3*_696_969_***): Xee, we lost a Boss last night, I think its Anatoli's minershelmet that has something to do with it, it has such strange lightpatterns, all well here, and there? hope things going well with both of you
Wed 18 Jul 2012 9:35 AM

"Lost a boss? Does she mean a boss fight? It seems like a word is missing... I have no idea what she's talking about. As for how it went for the both of us, it would be wiser to remain vague on the details...." With a dreamy sigh, she tapped a button, a blip confirming message deletion.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Katja tells me Wes was under the impression we--Katja and I--were an item.
Wed 18 Jul 2012 10:16 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): I mean...prior to this morning I had only met her twice. And only you and Conlan have seen us around each other. As far as I know.
Wed 18 Jul 2012 10:17 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): You guys didn't tell anyone about what I said to her, did you? That seems drastic.
Wed 18 Jul 2012 10:18 AM

Incendia (M +44 20 0766 xxxx): Hi! Hope you got a wonderful time! Texting cause I think I accidentally made Thanasi upset by telling him something Wes said earlier. It's probably nothing, but since you left the responsibility over the rapiers to him I thought it would be good to give you a heads up. sorry to bother you! /Katja
Wed 18 July 2012 2:12 PM

She started reading Thanasi's worries about how his rapports with Incendia may be perceived and moved on to read about Incendia's account on a similar topic. She laughed softly again.

Wes (M +44 1865 xxxxxx): Xee. I have decided to apply to your division. I am grateful to you and Kotts for lending me an ear the other night at the pub. I appreciated the support and I needed it. In addition, your assistant, Mr. Didasakaloops or however you spell it was the only one to show concern after my recent breakdown upon my return from an assignment in London itself involving a very peculiar daycare. In addition, when I seemed to have accidentally astrally projected myself into hell, he was again the only one to show concern. This kind of support and concern is admirable and is something I wish to be a part of. Thanks and I look forward to speaking with you later.
Wed 18 Jul 2012 5:30 PM

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Sorry to bother you on leave... but... did I forget to give Wes... er, to do the paperwork to get on the Rapier roster?
Wed 18 Jul 2012 9:42 PM

"Ah, Wes, and Jenn. I can erase those messages, I already added them as active Division members."

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Giorgos Pantelakis
Thu 19 Jul 2012 8:49 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Please disregard previous message. I was trying to win football tickets.
Thu 19 Jul 2012 8:50 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Giorgos Pantelakis
Thu 19 Jul 2012 8:51 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Oh dammit!
Thu 19 Jul 2012 8:52 AM

Opening the next message, Izumi cracked out laughing. "Giorgos Pantelakis, really?"

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Torvus slept with a wolf and now has fleas. Aren't you glad he isn't a Rapier?
Thu 19 Jul 2012 11:08 AM

She read the account of Wes apparently sleeping with a wolf and upon reading the comment following it, raised an eyebrow with an almost feral grin. "Funny how fate turns, sometimes."

Victor Leone (M +44 773-***-****): Hm, Boss, I just took a bite from choise mushrooms I got from Romani, Agarha is wonderfffuuullll3je9wflwwf
Unknown Date/Time

Moving on to a message from Venator, she blinked, then started giggling. "Reminds me of this mushroom recipe we did at the Red and Bait's tackle in Blue Mountain.... Oooooo, funky colors..."

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****):

Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:13 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): OH BLOODY HELL!
Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:14 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): You saw nothing. I was never here.
Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:14 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): I'm moving to Mongolia.
Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:14 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): And changing my phone number.
Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:15 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): And my name!
Thu 19 Jul 2012 1:15 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): I see you added Wes to the roster. You'll be pleased to know he says he resolved his flea and sausage problem. I'll check on his shots.
Fri 20 July 2012 1:19 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): If approached by angry Asians, you know nothing of the Greek man known as Gorgeous Giorgos.
Fri 20 July 2012 1:21 PM

"Oh, few more messages from Thanasi...." She opened the first to fall on a picture of Incendia, who was casting an intense gaze at the camera. "Uh huh...." Her grin widened even more as she read to his next apologetic messages. She saved these messages and checked the last of this series. "Checking on Wes' shots?" She shook her head slowly and read the next message. "Gorgeous Giorgos? Asians? Do I even want to know?" She opted for deleting that message.

Tom (443-***-****): We should chat -Tom
Fri 20 Jul 2012 4:15 PM

"Oh, message from Tom, aka wahoozerman... 'We should chat?' Uh, okay..." She printed out the message.

Incendia (M +44 20 0766 xxxx): Hi. Just wanted to tell that I will be off mission for a couple of days. I sprained my ankle. Its okay now but I should take it easy. Also wanted to remember you I will be unavailable to missions next friday two the weekend after. As you probably recall I will go home to sweden. Hope you feeling well. - K
Fri 20 Jul 2012 5:36 PM

Incendia (M +44 20 0766 xxxx): Jag har träffat en kille! Du skulle vara så avundsjuk, han är precis din typ. Nej, inget har hänt men han får det att pirra. Jag är glad! Saknar dig, ser fram emot att ses när jag kommer hem. <3
Fri 20 Jul 2012 5:37 PM

Incendia (M +44 20 0766 xxxx): I'm sorry, dont bother the last text. Sent it to wrong number. - K
Fri 20 Jul 2012 5:38 PM

"Katja going to Sweden for a week..." She turned to the laptop to make sure Incendia's file was up-to-date and read her next message. "Swedish?" She copied the text and ran it through Google translation. A wide grin grew on her face. She tapped a button and saved the message.

Wes (M +44 1865 xxxxxx): Xee, do we have any spare silver or heavy chains? I am just asking out of curiosity. No other reason. Really. I just noticed that the full moon is coming soon. Call it careful preparation. Um, just let me know. Before the next full moon preferably?
Fri 20 Jul 2012 8:18 PM

She moved to Wes' request for silver and replied: "No silver, sorry. Good luck!" then pressed "send."

Arc (513-xxx-xxxx): Hey Xee, uh, okay I don't know how to say this but I may have dropped some of your cookies into that portal I was trying to stabilize before you left. They were going stale either way, right?
Sat 21 Jul 2012 8:45 AM

Arc (513-xxx-xxxx): Disregard what I said about those cookies being dropped by me. They were being pulled by the portal. Portals get hungry....I think.
Sat 21 Jul 2012 8:46 AM

She slowly raised a dry eyebrow at the next message: "He took my cookies...." She stared at the phone screen, her mind reeling quickly. "He took my cookies." She printed out the message. "I'll get back at him later, when I go to the HQ and actually see it for myself...."

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Saturday was quiet. Nothing to report.
Sun 22 Jul 2012 3:21 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Still up?
Sun 22 Jul 2012 3:23 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Ach! Disregard previous. I'm tired.
Sun 22 Jul 2012 3:24 AM

"Hmm, I think I know to whom Thanasi meant to send the second message..." She laughed gently.

Tom (443-***-****): I seem to be getting a lot of texts from random people that aren't meant for me. I think our phone system might be on the fritz. -Tom
Sun 22 Jul 2012 10:54 AM

"Ah, another message from Tom... He gets messages not meant for him too?" She grinned. "I wonder if he got anything I'd be interested in...."

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Xee, I opened the delivery of new uniforms to grab a jacket... only, I think I got the wrong package. Did you place a Victoria's Secret order by any chance?
Sun 22 Jul 2012 11:38 AM

"Ooo, an order from Victoria's Secret? I wonder who that can be.... My money's on Belle. Hmm...I wonder what they have lately...and who their new public face is. Hah! Public -face-...." She grinned at the accidental wordplay.

Wes (M +44 1865 xxxxxx): Xee, I am deeply concerned about Jenn. I think she may have suffered a heat stroke. While delivering a prototype rifle to her, she asked me to watch her 'Bollywood' dance that she learned from Nassir. I could not divine whether this was an attempt at dance or evidence of total neurological failure. In any case, I recommend she be examined as soon as possibe for her safety and that of others.
Sun 22 Jul 2012 4:19 PM

She opened the message from Wes. Apparently, Jenn's belly dancing skills left him doubtful, worried even. She looked down at her own hips. "Not generous enough to make belly dancing look really good...." She deleted the message.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): I slept in today, but I've heard no news. Nothing to report.
Mon 23 Jul 2012 12:13 AM

"Quiet day... Good." She deleted the message.

Hebdomas (RESTRICTED): Did you know that vampire grunts apparently can't climb ladders?
Mon 23 Jul 2012 11:34 AM

"Message from Hebdomas?... I wonder what that is... Oh really? They can't? That just might come in handy when I go to Transylvania more often!" She deleted the message.

Arcadius (513-xxx-xxxx): Okay, remember that portal? Um...there might not be a floor to your room anymore.
Tue 24 Jul 2012 12:38 AM

Another message from Alexander. She closed her eyes for a moment and dreadfully opened it and read. She blinked. "Well. I guess I won't have to vacuum... Good thing I don't live there. But that's getting out of hand."

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Slow day today, boss. I'll see if I can cause some scandal tomorrow. Today, nothing to report.
Tue 24 Jul 2012 3:25 AM

Thanasi's next message had nothing to report. The thought of scandal made her mind wonder about old fashioned duels and the Fight Club, but she waved off these thoughts and deleted the message.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): I hope some day you can appreciate how much paperwork is involved in getting a floor replaced.
Tue 24 Jul 2012 9:28 PM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Ah. I just acquired better things to do. When you get back, you'll want to finish off some paperwork in the lounge.
Tue 24 Jul 2012 9:30 PM

His next message made her raise an eyebrow again. "Hopefully, whatever portal was involved is now closed and sealed once and for all.... Now who the hell thought it was a brilliant idea to experiment with portals in our HQ? Even animals know that you don't sh*t where you eat!" She groaned angrily and printed out the message.

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Xee, I went to put that package of lingerie in your room... did you know you don't have a floor? I left it by the door.
Wed 25 Jul 2012 12:41 AM

"Jenn left the lingerie next to my room door?... Oh, that won't last long..."

Victor Leone (M +44 773-***-****): Xee, brought some papers to get signed, restocking armory, you should have got my memo earlier. Btw, it seems some strippers tore up floor in your room and left their work suits outside! Sparky chewed these into mush, don't we have signs that forbid leaving personal belongings on floor?
Wed 25 Jul 2012 7:29 AM

"Victor... Ah, we do have a sign about not leaving items in the hallways, for fire evacuation purposes. Now, I bet someone will be sad not to find their lingerie order... My money's still on Beaubelle." She deleted that message too.

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): Good news: you have a new floor. Bad news: did you know your old furniture required a floor?
Wed 25 Jul 2012 9:53 PM

"Ah, good, the floor's replaced... I guess the portal is closed."

Arcadius (513-xxx-xxxx): I'll remember to be a little more careful with any further experiments. And we may...need to go in after your furniture, if Thanasi didn't already mention that.
Thu 26 Jul 2012 10:00 AM

"Another message from Alexander..." She sighed heavily and opened it. "What does he mean, 'we' may need to go in after the furniture? There is no 'we!' If the furniture is not back when I walk in there...." She printed out that message as well.

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Xee, I just wanted to check to see if... well say someone was doing tissue regrowth experiments with a blood focus and... okay nevermind...
Fri 27 Jul 2012 4:00 AM

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Would having a tail constitute being out of uniform?
Fri 27 Jul 2012 4:10 AM

Jenn (M +44 7641 xxxxxx): Disregard last. Also disregard any texts at all from Tom.
Fri 27 Jul 2012 4:13 AM

"What has Jenn been doing?" She printed out the messages before massaging her temples. "I'll need some Aspirin..."

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): For reasons I am not entirely at liberty to disclose, please inform anyone who asks that I am in Australia for the next week.
Sat 28 Jul 2012 12:48 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): If they keep asking, I'm in Bolivia.
Sat 28 Jul 2012 12:49 AM

The Thanasi (M +30 695-***-****): And, no, I'm not in Sweden.
Sat 28 Jul 2012 12:50 AM

She opened the next texts from Thanasi. She started grinning. "Okay, so he'll be in Sweden..." She saved the message.

Arcadius (513-xxx-xxxx): Okay I think I learned my lesson. Never play with portals. Your furniture that was sucked in has been recovered, and I'm calling in a favor to have them repair by the time of your return. No word on those cookies.
Sat 28 Jul 2012 1:06 AM

The next message was from Alexander. Expecting a disaster, she opened it and started reading. She stared at the screen a few moments, then printed out the message. "At least. Now, I hope he really did learn his lesson... The first lesson should be 'Never enter Izumi's room unless allowed.' Maybe I should find another Ak'ab pet, after all..."

She turned to her phone screen again and tilted her head. "Oh, all messages read! Good, good..." She put the message print-outs in her briefcase and started unpacking the rest of her suitcases.